ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
