I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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