from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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