I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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