They should really pass out barf bags in church
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
