he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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