Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Randomize
