everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
