i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
