Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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