I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
