You surviving the open bar?
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I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
