You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
