Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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