WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
