thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
