so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
