no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize