I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I smell like Dick and happiness
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
