and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
