yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
