Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Randomize
