you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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