At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
