why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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