I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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