dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
