i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
sex in a hospital.. check
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
How does one acquire holy water?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
