Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
