i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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