I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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