this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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