is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Text me some of your sweat
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