Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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