It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
