you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
