Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
how does that bad decision feel?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
