I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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