Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
