I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
