I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
