ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
