forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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