my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
