The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
