is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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