That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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