Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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