You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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