you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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