So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
