She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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