So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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