yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
