Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize