so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize