how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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